Yes, God, Yes: An Eerily Accurate Portrayal of Toxic Church and Purity Culture

contains spoilers

If you grew up in purity culture, you might watch Netflix’s Yes, God, Yes as exposure therapy, as it just exaggerates enough for laughs and is just awkward enough to bring up the uncomfortable memories from those glory days. Its depiction of awkward Jesus camp is spot on (can a parody be spot on?). 

 The story follows Alice as she’s discovering her sexual desires amidst an austere catholic high school which creates a culture of fear around sex and sexuality. It’s a world where girls don’t kiss because it leads to sex, and gay boys date them to cover their homosexuality. 

 The community teaches gender stereotypes such as, “Men are like microwaves and women are like convection ovens” emphasizing the greater sexual needs of men. This confuses Alice, as her sexual urges seem to heat up just as quickly as a microwave. 

 In the beginning, a rumor begins circulating about Alice that she “tossed Wade’s salad” and she spends the duration of the movie trying to figure out what it means. As Alice goes on her journey, she catches her friends in a series of lies at the church retreat—A retreat that cultishly won’t let the students talk about what happens at retreat when they return home. 

 On the retreat, group leader Nina turns Alice in for having a cell phone. It’s no wonder Alice is pissed when she witnesses Nina giving her boyfriend a blow job. 

 Father Murphy puts a lot of emphasis on remaining sexually pure and shames the students for having sexual feelings or being “turned on.” Then we cut to a scene of the father interacting with porn. 

 If you can get past the awkwardness, you’ll find a regular coming of age story with an eerily accurate exposure of toxic church and the hypocrisy so easily housed within. There is one major plot hole, however, all returning students talk about how amazing the retreat is, but you don’t get the picture anyone ever had fun. Mostly they just sit around listening to the father preach about remaining sexually pure (perhaps that was the point?). 

 The film does make you wonder if cultures which overemphasize purity are really just protecting their own sexual secrets. Due to the complex trauma resulting for many of us who grew up in Purity Culture, the theory likely has some foundation. 

Examples of Spiritual Abuse

(Wait, is this a comedy or a horror film?) 

1. On the first day of the retreat, Father Murphy has all the students circle their emotions on a sheet of paper. He instructs them to place their names at the top of the page and then collects them. 

This is extremely invasive, impersonal, and manipulative. You know the fact one of Alice’s circled emotions is “turned on” will come back to haunt her later. 

2. Father Murphy gathers the students together to announce someone was using his computer to have a “filthy conversation.” He uses God as a method of provoking their guilt. “Even if you don’t confess, God knows.” 

A few scenes later, Father Murphy displays his hypocrisy by using that same computer to watch porn and masturbate. 

3. Father Murphy has a private conversation with Alice. Almost immediately, he asks her about her “turned on” feelings and tells her not to give into temptation. Considering he procured this information about her through coercion, it’s highly inappropriate. Considering he has his own secret sex life, makes it even more so. 

 4. Whenever “Temptation” is mentioned, it’s always in regards to sexual sin. This is one of the damaging portions of Purity Culture. It elevates sexual sin above all sins. 

5. The students are told not to speak about the retreat when they return home. There’s a level of secrecy surrounding every toxic system and church culture, though it’s rarely this overt. 

In the end, Alice finds out the answer to her questions from an ex-catholic bar owner (slightly cliché, but okay). She makes friends with one of the socially awkward girls who seems genuinely nice (not fake nice like the other students). She considers going away for college, rather than attending the local school, and she rewatches the sex scene in Titanic while masturbating. 

 If you grew up in purity culture, you’ll relate with exactly how confusing such a world can be for a teenager. Likely you’ll be crying, “Yes, yes!” at the TV screen.