Resources for Spiritual Abuse and Trauma (Part 2)
These resources delve deeper into religious trauma. Some speak to the inner workings and others into various types of abuse that commonly coincide with spiritual abuse.
Wounded Faith: Understanding and Healing from Spiritual Abuse, edited by Dr. Neil Damgaard of the International Cultic Studies Association, is a collection of essays by individuals who have escaped abusive and cultic religious groups, covering a wide range of topics. Each chapter, written by a different author, explores a unique aspect of the subject matter, making it convenient for readers to select and delve into the topics that most pique their interest. The depth of coverage varies from chapter to chapter. The essay topics encompass self-identity, the impact on relationships, creativity, spiritual abuse, and stages of recovery, to name a few. Personally, I found the contributions by Ken Garrett to be particularly insightful and valuable.
Terror, Love and Brainwashing: Attachment in Cults and Totalitarian Systems by Alexandra Stein is a fascinating read on the tactics used by control groups political or religious. This is the compilation of twenty-five years of psychological study and expands on Robert Lifton’s criteria of thought reform. Rather technical, but very informative. I read this book very slowly, but she dissects the propaganda, recruitment, fear, and indoctrination techniques used by cults. I appreciated the footnotes and research put into this. The “group think” Christian groups use can be “orthodox” in doctrine, but totally cult-like in their “orthopraxy.” No matter whether a group is religious, political, or otherwise, they practice as a cult with the characteristics she outlines in her book. I appreciated the chapter on traumatic memory and the ways in which our brain triggers once we have left a group. Reading this was helpful as it revealed to me how I had been manipulated and gave me hope in how to retrain my mind.
A Cry for Justice: How the Evil of Domestic Abuse Hides in Your Church by Jeff Crippen and Anna Wood is a powerful resource for anyone grappling with the issue of domestic abuse within a religious community. Crippen, a former police officer, brings a unique perspective to the subject matter.
The book excels at two main points. First, it provides valuable insights into identifying abusers within the church and delves into the cunning tactics they employ. Second, it takes the time to dismantle the false notion that divorce is unacceptable in cases of abuse.
I encountered this book during a trying period when a dear friend was trapped in a highly psychologically abusive marriage. Reading A Cry for Justice enabled me to recognize the insidious tactics her husband was using against her and the urgency of her situation. Regrettably, our church did not share this perspective. I also shared this book with our pastor at the time, hoping to shed light on the issue of domestic abuse within our community. Regrettably, he declined to read it. Thankfully, my friend read the book and made the brave decision to divorce her abusive spouse. Today, she is thriving and leading a fulfilling life.
If you find yourself in a situation where you're receiving advice to remain in an abusive marriage within a religious context, I highly recommend reading A Cry for Justice. It's an eye-opening and empowering resource that can provide guidance and support to those facing domestic abuse while challenging harmful misconceptions within faith communities.
Mending the Soul: Understanding & Healing Abuse by Steven R. Tracy with a corresponding workbook by his wife Celestia Tracy, which we found extremely helpful and highly recommend. It goes through the circle of abuse and specifically addresses patriarchy and spiritual abuse. After we started processing our spiritual abuse, we realized that we had family trauma and abuse to deal with as well. This book tied it all together for us. This is very conversational, which makes it both easy and hard to read. Have you ever wondered, What is wrong with me? Why do I view things through the lens of shame or isolation? This book helps the reader see that those are the lasting effects of abuse. Though this book is written for survivors of sexual abuse, it touches on every kind of abuse. The healing path helps so much in rebuilding a healthier view of God and forgiveness. This book gives hope, not condemnation, shame, or guilt. Those who have endured abuse will recognize the profiles given, trigger mechanisms employed, and views of self and God. A helpful book to aid in true healing, not just diagnosing the issues, it helped us realize the issues we needed to address with a therapist.
Healing From Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse by Shannon Thomas, LCSW. (FB Southlake Christian Counseling) https://southlakecounseling.org is an excellent book on what psychological abuse is and the stages of recovery. Thomas understands how abuse hides under a “nice” covering. Psychological abuse is much more prevalent than people realize. Finally, there is a book that uses layman's terms to describe what it is, the methods abusers use, and how to recognize it. I can't really say enough good about this book. It is easy to read but packed full of information. I appreciate that Shannon didn't use a lot of clinical examples but leaves it to the reader to journal out how it has played out in an individual life. My copy is highlighted with notes everywhere. She points out how this kind of abuse happens everywhere: work, school, family, friends, church. She has resources at the end, including a journal section for the reader to use as well. This book will be on my bookshelf and passed on to many people as a helpful tool to understand the dangers and trauma associated with this type of abuse, which is so common within religious circles, yet rarely talked about.
Diane Langberg, PhD, @DianeLangberg, is widely regarded as an expert in the Christian community when it comes to addressing PTSD and sexual trauma. In her book, Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church, Langberg fearlessly confronts the church's mishandling of abuse, leaving no stone unturned.
The book is thoughtfully structured into three parts: power defined, power abused, and power redeemed. Even if you no longer identify as a Christian, this book holds significant value as it calls out the Christian community for its shortcomings and urges them to repent. Its relevance extends to those who have experienced highly patriarchal environments, offering insight and healing.
Throughout the book, I found myself underlining and highlighting numerous passages. Langberg eloquently unpacks the concept of personhood, which helped me recognize the extent to which my voice and identity as a woman were suppressed within the church. She makes a powerful statement: "To be human is to have a voice. Abuse of power silences the self and the words, feelings, thoughts, and choices of the victim. Their desires are disregarded and irrelevant. Abuse of any kind is always damaging to the image of God in humans. The self is shattered, fractured, and silenced and cannot speak who it is into the world."
Langberg emphasizes the importance of listening to the voices of victims, asserting that they are, in fact, a voice of truth. Her book serves as a call to action for the Christian community to recognize the humanity and worth of every individual, regardless of their background: "We can say we love God, but if we deem victims of abuse or people of another race or ethnicity as less than, we make it clear that we are liars and the truth is not in us. We are deceived."
Additionally, Langberg has authored another book, On the Threshold of Hope: Opening the Door to Healing for Survivors of Sexual Abuse. Her work provides a crucial resource for survivors, advocates, and anyone seeking a deeper understanding of the intersection of faith, power, and abuse.
Though Instagram is not a replacement for therapy, I have found it very therapeutic. It has been wonderful to find a community of people who understand. As I have healed, a big part of moving forward has been retraining my mindset and self-talk. These are just a few that I follow for my own self-care.
IG pages:
@aundikolber trauma therapist and author
@deconstructingmommas is also a podcast discussing parenting and deconstructing
@happywholeway religious recovery coaches who also offer 10-week classes for deconstruction
@iamfearlesssoul uplifting daily quotes on believing in yourself
@innerintegration self-healing after toxic relationships
@kjramseywrites trauma therapist and author
@lisaaromano life coach, codependency, trauma, connecting to self
@millennial.therapist
@nedratawwab author and licensed therapist discusses family relationships & boundaries
@nate_postlethwait childhood trauma recovery
@sitwithit navigating family relationships
@wetheurban self-love
Thanks for taking the time to read. I hope this is helpful to someone on the healing journey.
After dedicating the past ten years to unraveling the religious trauma and abuse that affected both her and her family, Meredith McKinney finds herself enjoying a deeper connection with her now adult children. She currently resides in Montana and has shifted her focus to building a thriving real estate business.