Unraveling the Threads of Abuse: A Review of Shelly Snow Pordea’s “The Cheating Wife”
Earlier in 2024, editorial board member Shelly Snow Pordea published The Cheating Wife. This book was a captivating exploration of the complex dynamics of domestic abuse, infidelity, and the journey of rebuilding after abuse and divorce. The book captures the emotional battles faced by individuals trapped in toxic, abusive relationships, highlighting the physical and psychological barriers that often prevent them from leaving.
The protagonist, Morgan, is a nuanced character whose emotional and psychological struggles depict how society treats those leaving domestically violent relationships, as well as how abuse is so often disguised as love, twisting affection into control. Morgan’s complexity as a character makes her extremely relatable to readers. As you read, you feel the despair, confusion, and fear gripping Morgan, making her feel deeply isolated from her relationships and former life.
In addition, The Cheating Wife very poignantly explores the emotional and psychological impacts of abuse. Readers experience Morgan’s internal battle of leaving her abusive husband, not only fearing for her safety but also feeling guilty for upending her children’s lives and concerned over how her community–especially the church–would judge her. Pordea also illustrates how victims often rationalize their circumstances, convincing themselves things will improve soon, or that they are to blame for their partner’s behavior.
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One interesting aspect of The Cheating Wife is how it portrays Morgan’s interactions with her church as she seeks to escape her abusive marriage. In most religious contexts, there is extreme shame and stigma surrounding divorce and separation, bringing additional shame and scrutiny to women in an already painful time. In the book, rather than the church leaders or friends asking Morgan how they can help, they essentially isolate her from their support and leave her to figure things out alone. Similarly, the broader social isolation Morgan experiences demonstrates how little support many women receive as they escape abusive relationships. Rather than extending a hand of love, help, and friendship, many shame, shun, and gossip.
Within Morgan’s character, Pordea also depicts how domestic abuse can erode one’s sense of self. Morgan’s journey throughout the book is one of reclaiming her identity as a mother, employee, and friend, rather than being defined by her identity as a wife. As Morgan receives support, navigates painful trauma from her past, and looks to establish safety and security for herself and her children, she sets an example for readers of the difficulty of identity reclamation amid difficult circumstances.
Besides Morgan, three supporting characters add depth to the story and portray additional perspectives towards abuse. Morgan’s best friend, Tiffany, embodies selfless understanding, support, love, and care. Morgan’s children Milo and Sadie depict the grief, pain, and trauma divorce inflicts on children, many of whom are left in the dark about the details of the divorce, and their allegiances are split between parents. Morgan’s relationships with Tiffany, Milo, and Sadie all help the reader understand the widespread impact of and perspectives on leaving abusive situations.
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After a slow, thoughtful start, The Cheating Wife picks up a quick pace, illustrating the pressure, grief, and trauma felt by those leaving abusive relationships and experiencing significant relational change (such as divorce). As I read, I had an imagined ending in mind, but Pordea took things in a totally different direction. On the one hand, I liked her ending because it felt more tidy, wrapped up, and hopeful. Had she not opted for the ending she wrote, it likely would’ve ended the book still on a note of complexity and tension which surrounds divorced partners and families seemingly in perpetuity.
The Cheating Wife is a powerful novel that sheds light on the realities of domestic abuse and the complex struggles and trauma associated with leaving. The nuance of Morgan’s character allows Pordea to highlight the complexity and emotional struggles that often keep individuals trapped in abusive relationships. I think this book demonstrates the need for understanding, consistent support, and empathy for those affected by domestic abuse and violence. I highly recommend it to anyone seeking to develop their understanding of the multifaceted nature of abuse and the strength it takes to leave. You can grab your copy on Amazon!
