Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month: If You Want to Become a Cult Leader, Here’s How

If you want to be a cult leader—or any sort of authoritarian leader—here are the steps:

Step One: Join a community that conditions everyone to rely on a source outside of themselves for direction, advice, and affirmation. Easiest if the outside source is a deity they cannot see. All you have to do is claim to speak for that deity. Then, if they ever question, you can deflect that questioning back onto the deity.

Say something like this: “It’s not me who’s saying this. It’s God. I know it’s difficult. It’s difficult for me, too. But this is what the Lord says. Let us trust God together.” With this, you have achieved three things. First, you’ve shifted the responsibility (and the blame) to the higher power. Second, you’ve supported a viewpoint that following the deity is difficult, therefore normalizing difficulty as a sign of trusting God. Finally, you’ve created a dynamic of empathy and solidarity between yourself and the target. They see you as one of them, struggling alongside them to do the right thing. They will never know you are controlling them.

Step Two: Teach your followers to mistrust their desires. This does not have to be too dramatic. Simply point them toward the deity whenever they share about something they want to do. Encourage them to seek the Lord’s guidance and not to trust their own heart. Teach them to surrender their dreams to the deity, offering it as a fragrant sacrifice. Teach them to be joyful when they give up dreams for God. Teach them that wanting something too much is dangerous. Blame their selfish desires whenever something doesn’t work out the way they want it to. Tell them God is teaching them a lesson. Plant the idea that they must not have heard God correctly or that their desires were never from God to begin with. Teach them to fear happiness.

Step Three: Keep them away from outside influences. It might not be feasible to separate them geographically. Society typically frowns upon communes. The more normal your community looks, the easier it will be to hide in plain sight. But that doesn’t mean you cannot remain their primary influence. Do this by feeding mistrust of anyone and anything that doesn’t sound like you. Shame them for watching films that celebrate creativity and independence. Reward them when they read books about missionaries who make sacrifices for the Kingdom of Heaven. Dole out praise sparingly, however, so your followers will be grateful whenever they receive it. Condition them to feel safe around people who think like you. Condition them to fear anything that is different.

Step Four: Give them a common enemy. This step is reinforced by step three. I suggest making the common enemy anything that is feminine. Female bodies, emotions, art. This tactic is easiest because a lot of this mistrust is already embedded into society at large. You won’t have to work very hard. Teach emotional control; vilify art that provokes critical thought; and shame the female body. These things will occupy the minds of your followers so much it will distract them from ever thinking that you could be their true enemy.

This approach will also allow a certain type of person to rise to the top more easily. Men, for example. If one demographic feels like they have power in this community without having to work too hard for it, then you’ll have ready allies. They will fight for these principles on your behalf. Eventually, all you will have to do is sit back and watch.

This, my friend, is how you become a cult leader. Enjoy.