Review of Wade Mullen’s Something’s Not Right
Book Review of Wade Mullen’s Something’s Not Right: Decoding the Hidden Tactics of Abuse and Freeing Yourself from its Power TW: the following book review discusses abuse, especially religious abuse. If you’re not sure you’re ready to read about abuse you or others may be experiencing, be gracious with yourself and come back later.
Wade Mullen’s Something’s Not Right is an exploration of religious abuse from the perspective of a researcher, former pastor, and religious abuse survivor. Chapter by chapter, Mullen exposes the practices that abusers, including individuals and institutions, have borrowed from “impression management,” i.e., “the process of creating, influencing or manipulating an image held by an audience.” Think of a film or TV where a PR firm jumps in to “damage control” to protect a client, especially if they’ve done something horrible. It’s a strategy used to manipulate and deceive an audience into believing something untrue.
Mullen skillfully moves between theory, real-world examples, his own experiences, and practical advice to unpack some of the tactics more commonly used by religious abusers. He discusses the superficially-sweet strategy behind the use of “charms,” flattery, and false solidarity to woo the abused, as well as the more unsavory tactics of dismantling the abused’s internal and external world. This leaves the abused “paralyzed - confused and captive - caught in a web spun by the abuser under the cover of darkness,” struggling to make the impossible decision of whether or not to stay silent, while abusers (and often their churches) build protective walls and put on various displays of repentance.
I consumed this book in two days, having gone back since to take a slower look. Mullen’s experience mirrored my own, and if you have also been hurt by a pastor, religious authority, church, etc. some of this will resonate closely - at times uncomfortably so - with your experience as well. Unlike others, Mullen’s book does not require you to be well-versed in the Bible or theology. I found his clear, concise writing - all in under 200 pages - both very accessible and substantive. I walked away feeling like I better understood what tactics were used against me, as well as with an appreciation for his helpful suggestions to keep readers from getting pulled into the spinning gears of religious machinery. While it takes an unvarnished look at the methodical nature of religious abuse, it does so without leaving the reader hopeless, and Mullen should absolutely be commended for his ability to do this.
This book would be helpful for scholars beginning their work in this field; for pastors wanting to create healthier churches or be better at receiving the abused; for friends and family of the abused; and if they’re ready, the abused themselves. Spiritual abuse leaves us feeling isolated and strangers to even ourselves, but Mullen helps break down that estrangement with honest talk. “Surviving is not simple or easy. There are many threads to disentangle, many ruins that need to be rebuilt, many words that need to be found, If you can’t shout, find a way to whisper. If you can’t rebuild the ruins all at once, find a small place to start. Again, if all you can say is ‘Something’s not right,’ then begin there. It might just be the word of truth needed to stop the web of lies from growing.”
Rev. Dr. Brandon Frick is a pastor in the Presbyterian Church (USA). Having experienced spiritual abuse, he is passionate about caring for and empowering others who have experienced it, too.
Photo by Philipp Wüthrich on Unsplash