Healing from Religious Trauma (Review of When Religion Hurts You)
In my quest to learn more about spiritual abuse, Laura Anderson’s book When Religion Hurts You: Healing from Religious Trauma and the Impact of High-Control Religion came highly recommended by friends and internet strangers alike. After reading Anderson’s book, I’ve concluded that it’s among the most helpful books on spiritual abuse that I’ve read. As I read this book, I was struck by its mindful approach, broad applicability, and overall usefulness in recovery not only from religious trauma, but other types of trauma, as well.
A Mindful Approach
One thing that instantly struck me about Anderson’s writing was her genuine mindfulness of the varying situations of her audience, as well as the validity and diversity of trauma itself. In the opening pages of the book, Anderson encourages readers by reminding them that life in a healthy, recovering body is indeed possible after experiencing religious trauma. This statement sets the tone for the rest of the book, where Anderson employs clinical experience, anecdotes and research to demonstrate to readers that yes, life after religious trauma is possible.
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Another aspect of Anderson’s writing that I appreciated is her approach to stories. She mindfully shared aspects of her story, not wanting to cause readers to compare or measure trauma, imagining “because I didn’t experience (insert a type) trauma, my trauma isn’t valid or real”. Anderson clearly, regularly reminds her readers that their trauma is valid because they’ve experienced it, not because other people’s trauma had to validate it for them (thus making it subjective). Anderson similarly recognizes trauma not only to be subjective, but also perceptive (that a mere perception of threat or danger can be overwhelming to an individual) and embodied (storied in the body and mind, and therefore cannot be thought away). With these aspects of trauma in mind, Anderson writes with a broad range of applicability in mind.
Broad Applicability
Anderson not only writes with a non-comparison approach, but also with a mind towards the physical, emotional, psychological, and other impacts of trauma. In this broad view, Anderson yet recognizes that just as everyone’s trauma looks a bit different, so does each person’s recovery. Anderson breaks down her exploration of religious trauma and high-control religion through the following chapter topics:
● What is Religious Trauma?
● Religious Abuse and Adverse Religious Experiences
● Nervous System
● Rebuilding Identity
● Relating Well to Your Body
● Stabilizing the Nervous System
● Boundaries Built on Self-Trust and Self-Compassion
● Grieving the Life You Once Had
● Developing a Robust Spectrum of Emotions
● Reclaiming Sexuality and Pleasure
● Establishing Healthy Connections and Relationships with Others
● Integrating the Living Legacy of Trauma
Each chapter is concisely written, considerately integrating stories, anecdotes, clinical psychology data and studies, and brief application exercises when applicable. Anderson’s writing is such that you can opt to read this book straight through, or pick specific chapters to read based on your interests or needs. Anderson writes with deep compassion, as a fellow survivor walking the lifelong road of trauma recovery.
Usefulness for Survivors, Supporters, and Others
As I read this book, I was struck by the usefulness of Anderson’s insights and advice not only for survivors, but those who support survivors, and others seeking to educate themselves about religious trauma and its impacts. I found Anderson’s book to be one I’ll return to and recommend regularly, as I trust it will become a valuable resource as I seek to walk alongside friends and loved ones recovering from religious trauma. I trust this will be a similar experience for those who find themselves in a supporting role in a survivor’s life. Survivors, too, will benefit from Anderson’s gentle, compassionate, and clear approach, especially the exercises and recovery insights she shares from her own story. At the end of the book, Anderson includes a pages-long appendix with a topical list of resources, covering worldview, grief, the nervous system, and other relevant topics, giving survivors, supporters, and others interested a plethora of resources to explore.
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I’ll leave you, my reader, with Anderson’s concluding words, words of hope that so accurately summarize the heart of her entire book: “Healing is a lifelong journey with no end point…Living in a healing body after religious trauma does not mean that every day or season of your life will need to be spent in therapy, in tears, or feeling held back by the experiences of the past. You will also have moments of celebration as you realize how far you’ve come, as you inhale the present moment, and as you look around at your brilliant, messy, beautiful self and know that you are free.” (Anderson, 212)
To purchase your own copy of When Religion Hurts You, visit Baker Publishing Group or Amazon. To connect with Laura Anderson and the additional resources she offers, including her blog with additional recovery content, check out her website. Laura has also appeared on the Uncertain Podcast twice, in seasons 3 and 4. Check out Katherine Spearing’s conversations with her about the role of anger in healing and second wave fundamentalism.
Leah Jolly is a graduate of Wheaton College where she studied international relations and Spanish. She lives in the Grand Rapids area with her husband, Logan, and is pursuing her MDiv at Calvin Theological Seminary. After finishing her MDiv, Leah hopes to pursue a PhD and work as an editor and professor. In her free time, Leah enjoys spending time with family and friends, writing, traveling, and reading.