Review of Cait West’s Memoir Rift: Breaking Away from Christian Patriarchy
Over the past few years, a growing number of documentaries, books, and articles have been published, bringing awareness to stories of spiritual abuse. One new contribution is Cait West’s debut memoir Rift: A Memoir of Breaking Away from Christian Patriarchy. Cait’s memoir courageously details her upbringing in–and eventual departure from–Christian patriarchy and the stay-at-home daughter movement.
In Rift, Cait chronicles her life as a stay-at-home daughter in the Christian patriarchy movement, reflecting on geographic shifts as markers of new stages in her life. From her birth in Delaware, early upbringing in Pennsylvania, school-age years in Colorado, early adulthood in Hawaii, and new beginnings in Michigan, each location of Cait’s life marked a further descent into–or steps out of–Christian patriarchy. To avoid spoiling Cait’s powerful story for you (you should read it!), here are a few core themes you’ll notice throughout Rift: the danger of isolation, the necessity of external support systems, and the power of shared stories.
The Danger of Isolation:
As you read Rift, you’ll notice how isolation impacted Cait in a variety of ways. In Cait’s story, isolation was key for parental control. Isolation meant Cait was only exposed to one religious system, one educational method, one political viewpoint, one approach to romantic relationships, one approach to a woman’s role and opportunities in society, all of which centered around her father’s ideas, opinions, and views on politics and theology. Isolation also meant that Cait and her siblings were removed from relationships with any friends or family members that didn’t fully align with her father’s views. While reading Rift, you’ll notice the danger of isolation, as it traps innocent individuals in ideologies and systems that damage their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health in the short and long-term of their life.
The Necessity of External Support Systems:
Rift tells powerful stories of the necessity and beauty of external support systems. Cait mentions different friends and acquaintances throughout her life who were ‘different’ from her family and upbringing, helping her realize that the system she was raised in wasn’t the only way to live. You’ll also read of the many ways Cait’s now-husband, David, along with other friends and mentors, supported and encouraged her in her process of departing from Christian patriarchy. When victims are isolated, they need to know that external support systems exist to help and encourage them.
The Power of Shared Stories:
As Cait tells her story, you’ll learn of the power of shared stories and the impact they have on spiritual abuse survivors. One of the turning points in Cait’s escape from Christian patriarchy was spending hours reading online blogs, forums, and articles about topics such as emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, and Christian patriarchy, helping her realize that others had been raised in abusive, harmful systems similar to hers, and they had also escaped. Stories bring solidarity among victims, helping them understand they’re not alone, as others have walked a similar path before. Whether you’re a victim of spiritual abuse or simply seeking to learn more about that experience, you’ll find Rift to be a companion on your journey. Cait’s story powerfully declares to her readers, “You are not alone, and there are others who have walked this road before you.”
As a reader, Cait’s honesty, courage, and desire to amplify survivor’s voices was so impactful to me. Throughout Rift, Cait honestly reflects on the positive and negative aspects of her upbringing. She concisely and honestly calls out the damaging effects of Christian patriarchy and the stay-at-home daughter movement on her own upbringing and in the lives of others, as well as the church more broadly. However, she also honestly and compassionately works to see the good in others, particularly her parents. Cait recognizes the complexity of her parents’ stories and backgrounds, seeking to understand their trauma, while calling out the negative aspects of her upbringing. Similarly, Cait’s courage demonstrated in Rift is an encouragement to all readers, both survivors and those seeking to better understand Christian patriarchy. It takes courage to call out abuse. It takes courage to leave the home, family, and lifestyle you’ve been raised in. It takes courage to move across the country and start over with nothing. It takes courage to apply for college, enter the workforce, and go to therapy. It all takes courage, and Cait’s courage is so clearly woven throughout Rift. Finally, Cait’s story is one of listening to and amplifying survivor’s voices, both her own and that of others. As you’ll read in Rift, one of the key ways Cait discerned the harm of her upbringing and found courage to leave was reading the stories of spiritual abuse survivors on blogs, online forums, and other platforms. Now that she’s left the Christian patriarchy movement, she has her own platform–on Substack, her website, and this book–that she uses to share her story and amplify the voices of others.
Cait’s honesty, courage, and desire to amplify survivor’s voices, combined with her captivating storytelling ability, will undoubtedly be a gift to anyone who picks up Rift. Whether you’re a survivor, supporting a survivor, or seeking to educate yourself, you’ll be swept into a powerfully-written story of survival, escape, and rebuilding. I cannot recommend this book enough!
I firmly believe Rift will be a significant resource for healing and education in the spiritual abuse recovery community, and highly recommend it to anyone: survivors, supporters, or learners alike. To purchase Rift, visit the Eerdmans website, or buy it from any major retailer, such as Amazon or Barnes and Noble.
Leah Jolly is a graduate of Wheaton College where she studied international relations and Spanish. She lives in the Grand Rapids area with her husband, Logan, and is pursuing her MDiv at Calvin Theological Seminary. After finishing her MDiv, Leah hopes to pursue a PhD and work as an editor and professor. In her free time, Leah enjoys spending time with family and friends, writing, traveling, and reading.
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